Sunday, March 18, 2007

The best of intentions...

I made a plan in my head of something I wanted to do today, something I felt was really important. But life sort of stepped in and took charge, so now my plan has to be revised. I suppose it's not really that big a deal. I mean, it's not like I left anyone waiting on me or flaked out in all the other ways I can sometimes. I wanted to visit my aunt's grave today. It's the five year anniversary of her death. But I didn't want to take the kids with me and I'm home alone with them all day. So I'm left with a blog post in my aunt's memory instead.

I carry around with me the memory of someone in my family who was a lot like me, not always easy to find, despite the vast numbers. I saw someone I admired, someone who didn't let fear or excuses get in the way of doing things. My middle child, who was born a little over a year after her death - is named for her. I still miss her all the time. And when I think of her, I resolve to do the things I want to do - today.

As I do every year this time, I think of the last time I saw my aunt before she was diagnosed. I picture her impish grin as she suggested we break into the cookies before the meal was served at the party we were at. A very important lesson my aunt Mary taught me - eat dessert first.

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