Tuesday, May 2, 2006

Truth and consequences...

I have this weird thing where I have to tell the truth. Okay, maybe that's not so weird, but I'm almost compulsive about it. That should not be taken to mean that I tell the whole truth, but I can phrase things in such a way that I'm never lying. I think it's a trait learned from being a receptionist. "I'm sorry, Mr. Smith isn't at his desk, may I direct you to his voicemail." When Mr. Smith is in front of me telling me no way does he want to talk to this person. See? I didn't lie. Now, ask me a yes or no question and I have a much harder time. Not much wiggle room in yes or no. In that case, I tend to just babble around the question so that it never gets noticed that I never answered it.

Can you just imagine how much fun it must be to be married to me? My poor guy. I do feel bad for him sometimes. Especially in our strange relationship. It's a good one, don't get me wrong, but not always traditional. I'm the mom, housewife, all that good traditional bullshit, yes, but I'm also unemotional, detached and non-communicative. My DH is the breadwinner, the trash-taker-outer, the home repair guy, but he's a sensitive guy - he cries, he talks about his feelings openly and honestly. Freaks me out. I do not talk about feelings. Ew. I might write about them (which I've started to do - write him little notes because that's how I express myself. He wants me to tell him how I feel, but that's hard for me, so the notes is a compromise).

Of course, at the same time, he's strong-willed and stubborn. So am I. We're also both Leos, which are supposed to always want to dominate. Makes for an interesting relationship. I say that we generally take turns being the dominant one and it's only when we're both in the mood to be that one that we have arguments. Or when I've bottled up all my emotions so well that they just explode. Then too. But for the most part, a lot of good comes out of our arguments, thoughtfulness and introspection and renewed concern for the other. We're on one of those upswings right now. I feel all giddy in love again. It's way cool.

1 comment:

  1. ......i want to touch your brain....visit me....read the link...the way of peace....share it....save the world....make me proud.