Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Mommy guilt...

I try not to feel guilty, but sometimes I just do. Intellectually, I can tell myself that moms are allowed to be in bad moods since everyone has bad days. That's just how it is. But my emotional side saw my bad mood and won't stop hounding me about it. I had next to no patience with the kids and was just sort of detached yesterday. I didn't yell or scream, I was just sort of distant. I hate feeling like that, especially since there really wasn't a reason for it.

But the really stupid part of the guilt comes in when Tom got home. I let him take over and I just sort of zoned. And felt immensely guilty for taking twenty minutes while the kids were still awake to just be inside myself. Like I can't turn the reigns over without feeling guilty. How stupid is that? He's their father - I didn't hand responsibility over to some stranger off the street.

And I'm going to face this again this weekend when I go out. I have a baby shower for an old friend on Saturday and a craft show (whole other post there) on Sunday. Tom is going to be gone the following weekend all weekend, so it will actually be nice for me to get out while I can, but I'm already feeling guilty for leaving him alone with the kids.

Moms are weird. Maybe not all moms. At any rate, I'm weird.

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