Sunday, August 13, 2006

My baby is leaving me...

Or Why I'm Sad about Kindergarten Starting...

I was in bed the other night with tears streaming down my face as I thought about my oldest child heading off to kindergarten in two weeks. I mourn the loss of our time together - not that we'll never see each other again, but it won't be the relaxed leisurely days we've had together for five years. It will be "What's for dinner? Did you do your homework? Get ready for bed."

DH wanted to know why I'm so sad as T was in a bad mood yesterday. And MissG wouldn't eat her dinner without a dramafest. He said "This? You'll really miss this?" He has a point. But I know in my heart that things will change. My baby is growing up. And I wouldn't have it any other way, but that doesn't mean I won't miss the boy he is today. I can't wait to find out where life takes him, who he'll meet, what he'll become. But a part of me will always miss my days with him, when it was me and my boy (and girls). I'm trying to remind myself how much that drives me crazy, how I can never think of enough fun things to do with him (them, now). And I think of how nice it will be for MissG to have me for a while, although I sense that she will be very lonely for a while, until BabyS can play with her the way T does now.

So I'm sending him off, sadness in my heart, but a smile on my face, for it's my job to help him grow, to give him the strength to face the world on his own.

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