Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Too much…

I’m trying to change a lot of things in my life right now. I’m working on losing weight, getting fit and healthy and eating better. Some days this is easier than others. Some days I feel like nothing I’m doing is making a difference, so why shouldn’t I eat the entire bag of Hershey’s kisses we got for Easter?

I’m trying to step up my photography with an eye towards taking things professional. I want to get to a place where I have consistent focus, consistently well-processed images and confidence to direct my subjects at a shoot. I’m up to the last one now. And I think the only way to do it is to get in, at least up to my toes. But I’m just not confident enough to put myself out there, which begs the question – will I ever be? Will there ever come a time when I’m comfortable saying “I’m a photographer.” And better still “I’m a photographer. Here are my prices. Yes, I’m worth it.”

I’m trying to stay on top of keeping my house clean – by which I really mean clutter-free. Some days I do this better than others. Some days I feel no guilt about sitting back and taking pictures of the kids (see previous paragraph). But some days I feel like a lazy cow. No one’s complaining except me, but that’s bad enough.

I’m getting frustrated with it all and it’s not a good thing. Usually my response to frustration is to shut down totally. I’m trying not to do that.

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