Music matters...

I could easily be spiralling into depression right now. Honestly, I'm not sure that I'm not. I'm sort of avoiding dealing with certain topics that would lead me there. My grandfather has cancer, a type of cancer that is pretty much fatal. He's doing chemo, which I think is just meant to buy him some time.

I can't imagine not having him in my life. My grandparents ahve always been a major part of my life. I was their first (of many) grandchild. They took me on trips with them when I was little. My sister and brother and I spent a lot of time at their house. I've always tried to visit as often as possible, especially now that I have kids. I want them to know their great-grandparents, something I didn't have an opportunity to do.

This could pretty easily send me into a catatonic type depression. Sometimes it does. I lose myself in stupid video games when I should be cleaning or reading books to my kids. But it's getting better. Because I noticed that I'm much, much happier and engaged with life when I'm listening to music. So I spruced up my iPod playlists and have it on me almost all the time now. It makes me run faster (though I have shin splints right now and am taking some running time off again), clean more, and get moving easier when I'm listening to it.

But that's not all. When I'm not listening to music, but have been recently, I'm in a better mood. Listening to music while doing all those activities is boosting my spirits later when I'm no longer listening to it.

I suppose there have been studies about this for years, but it never really occurred to me that it could have such a concrete impact on me.