Quiet lately...

I've been pretty quiet and introspective lately. I've also been in major avoidance mode - totally into mindless video games so I don't have free time to think. Because if I think then I have to think about my grandfather and realize that he's dying. And try not to completely break down. I'm already crying just typing that. I did the thing you're not supposed to do when you hear a diagnosis - I googled. The median survival rate for his type of cancer is 20 months.

I want to write more, but I just can't yet. I've always been very close to my grandparents. I've especially loved that my kids have been able to know their great-grandparents. My oldest three have known five great-grandparents, although two died when Susu was a baby so she has no memories of them at all.

The tree in front of my grandparents' house has a big split in it. It's not healthy and is going to be cut down. Healthy new saplings are being planted from it. I hate that this beautiful old tree is going to be gone. Just gone...