I've been avoiding dealing with a lot of things in my life lately - in part because they stress me out to even think of them so I just don't. I've been making excuses for why I can't keep the house cleaner or why I can't at least work out and keep my body (ankle) in shape. I'm mad at myself for doing it because it's not entirely true (like most of my excuses/rationalizations it's based in fact though). The baby is at a very difficult age which means I can't really do anything other than be ready to redirect her for any of her waking hours except minor tasks (folding laundry is my usual job during that time). But she sleeps. And I could be productive in those hours. But I let myself get sucked into the Internet or making curtains or one of any fun but not helpful to house or body maintenance projects.
The curtains came from my genius excuse that I can't keep our bedroom neater because we have sheets hanging on the window to block out the light instead of proper curtains/shades/whatever. It looks awful so I feel no need to make it look all pretty and neat. I thought if I took that excuse away from myself I could get it cleaner. The baby still sleeps in there though so I can only work in that room while she's awake. And while she's awake she doesn't like being still. Not a good combo.
A lot of this comes down to a couple of things. One - I need to get up off my butt and do stuff. I'm making myself a deal like I have with the kids. They can "buy" video game time from me for equivalent chore time. Spend 20 minutes emptying the trashcans and taking the trash out? You earn 20 minutes on the DS. So that's my plan for me too. Two - I need to learn to ask people for help. I just need to ask if DH to watch the baby while I clean our bedroom.
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