Wednesday, November 8, 2006

Friday to Monday in the Caribbean is not enough time.

And now we're back, fully in the swing of everyday life. I have much to blog about from this trip, the most relevant being my identity crisis. Everyone around me thought that I was missing my kids and therefore kind of down. But the real problem was not so much that I missed them (of course I did, but it wasn't that bad), but that I was blindsided by how completely I define myself by them. I am T, G and S's mother. Without the T G and S, I was...I didn't know. I...I... I don't think this is a good thing and I'm hoping it will bring about some changes in my life maybe, although I'm not sure what.

The photography part was the highlight of the trip for me. I was the wedding photographer and loved it. And I loved knowing how to get good shots and figuring out the light and working with it. I took over 500 pictures and I'm going to spend the rest of the week going through them and sorting into categories and editing as needed.

Tom figured out that I was tense thoughout the trip because I was nervous about the return flight. I don't mind being away from my babies, but I'm not a good flyer (although that part turned out pretty easy and I might even do it again). As soon as we landed back home, I was relaxed. I didn't relax very much on the trip, not like one would expect. I felt like I needed to be doing something. When I sat on the beach, I felt like I needed to be doing dishes or laundry or something. I had trouble sleeping - worried about getting home and the bills and crap that awaited me. And I feel very guilty because Tom and I didn't get any couple time - mainly because I was wrapped up inside my head and partly because we were there with a group, we needed to spend time with them (or, well, I suppose I wanted to. Tom would have liked to spend less time with them, I think). Posted by Picasa

No comments:

Post a Comment