Couch to 5K dropout...

Well, I'm not a total dropout. I'm still running. Just not using the podcasts like I had been at first. Although I used one last week and it helped a lot. But they bore the crap out of me. Now I need to convince DH that I need an iPod Touch so I can download the app that lets you use your own music.

The thing is that I need to find exercise that works for me and not worry about what my brother is doing (he's running 5 miles a day) or what people on the internet are doing. I need to worry about me, my health, my weight (which isn't budging and I'm pissed and frustrated). So I'm okay with not running 5Ks or running at all if that's what works for me. Some days I like to run. Today I power-walked. I'm moving and burning calories. Sometimes eating sensibly - most of the time, honestly, but being snowed in hasn't been good for me. I've been hit with the urge to bake. And if I'm going to bake, may as well bake stuff I like, right? So I made a pound cake Friday night. It was gone on Sunday. And sadly, I ate most of it. I know better than to make pound cakes. I can't resist them.

Today I'm going to make a red velvet cake. I've been dying for a red velvet cake ever since Tom's aunt had one at her Christmas party. Damn, it was good.

Couch to 5K...

I got the brilliant idea that the way for me to get back into shape and lose the baby weight (she's only 14 months - it still counts, right?) was to do the couch to 5K program. Basically I want results, fast, or I know me well enough to know that I won't keep up with it if it frustrates me. I've been being more careful about my eating habits for the past week - no extra snacks, a very small dessert (cause if I couldn't have dessert, I'd go a little nuts), nice small, healthy meals. And I freaking GAINED five pounds. Screw that - if I'm going to gain weight, I may as well eat good stuff, right?

And this is why I have sort of a bad attitude about this whole weight loss/get into shape stuff. I need to lose at least 20 pounds to feel good about myself, up to a max of 50 (which would be what I weighed before I ever met Tom, got married or had babies - it would be less than what I weighed on my wedding day, so is not at all realistic). After my previous two babies, I was able to lose 30 and keep it off and live the way I wanted to. That's my goal, right there. I want to be able to have a dessert if I want to. I want to be able to splurge on fried chicken every now and then (and really that's all I can stand it anyway).

Day one of Couch to 5K down. It went...okay. Tune in later in the week to see if I kept up with it.