Going green and coming of age...

My cousin and I were talking (at the impromptu yard sale, which was a relative success - it bought Tom his birthday dinner and the week's gas, if nothing else) about the various changes we've made in our lives recently, especially in regards to the environment. Now, I'm not a liberal, tree-hugging type. I'm basically a Libertarian, very quiet about my political beliefs, but mainly they consist of the government staying out of my (and everyone else's) life. But lately, I've been getting greener and greener. And allow me to be my most controversial ever and say that I don't believe in global warming - well, more that I don't believe man is responsible for it. I believe that it's just a natural part of the Earth's cycles. But recycling, being conscious of my energy use and basically living a green lifestyle isn't about global warming - at least not to me, and not to the real vocal "green" types if they were smart too. Regardless of what's going on with the Earth's temperature, using our resources wisely just makes sense.

My cousin's mother (FTR, my mom's sister) told her that she went through the same "green" (although probably not by that name back then) thing when she was in her early 30s. So now I'm wondering if this is a coming of age that is related to my early 30s or the social environment in which she spent her early 30s (that would have been the mid-80s) and the one in which I'm spending mine. I think it might be more that society in general was more environmentally aware in both of these times, but who knows?

All of this leads to me considering cloth diapering my little V. I wanted to have it all in place before she was born, but as it turned out, everyone gave us diapers (what else do you give a fourth baby and third girl - and not even one born in a different season?). So once she either uses or outgrows the gift diapers, I'm going green. So I've been researching like crazy and asking anyone who might know anything about it. Now I'm getting ready to take the plunge. I'll let you know how it goes.

MamaChris's Great Adventure...

I took all four kids to the library. By myself. Wow. It was...a little harder than I expected, but partly that's due to how awkward getting the big double stroller in and out of DH's SUV is. I've ordered something smaller and hopefully lighter, so I'm hoping that will make a difference once it comes in. It also took longer than a normal trip to the library, but I'm still moving kind of slow and I didn't have enough hands to carry all the bags of books.

My cute little froggy baby. She's still pretty scrunchy, apparently made worse by the low amniotic fluid there at the end. That black corner is majorly distracting. I'll take care of that before I print this. But look at all her hair! She has more hair that Miss G had on her second birthday. Honest.

Where have I been?

Adding a kid to my collection, of course. Our little girl V.V. was born June 16 after a frenzied couple of days making sure she was okay because I had low amniotic fluid. Tom kept cracking jokes about me being a car because they kept checking my fluid levels. At least he knows I don't like him to talk to me when I'm in labor. Baby Girl probably could have been born about half an hour earlier, but I wanted to finish the episode of Friends I was in the middle of.

Might be I'm a little nervous...

about this whole four kids thing. I had my second nightmare/bad dream in a row last night. The first one was a real nightmare. I woke up at 4 (after finally breaking my pattern of waking up from 1 to 5 every morning) and never went back to sleep it freaked me out so bad. Basically I was dying on the operating table after an emergency c-section (I've never had one) and DH was going to be alone with four kids. (That baby was a boy)

Last night, I dreamt that all went well and we came home, but because my other kids were so busy, I just forgot about the new baby and left it in bed for two straight days. (That baby was a girl).

So I conclude two things from my dreams. I'm freaked about having another baby. AND I'm having twins. Except one of them hides really well from ultrasound techs. Yeah, probably not twins. But definitely freaked out.

Babies all around me...

Another of my cousins is expecting a baby. That makes two. These things tend to happen in threes, especially in our family. So we're all looking around at who might be the third. Apparently, I'm the odds-on favorite. But I don't think my heart has quite gotten that memo. I'm still completely torn, utterly undecided about whether we want to have a fourth baby. I know that DH does, but he also knows that I do the lion's share of the work with our kids, especially when they're babies. Therefore he has wisely told me that if I decide we're done, we're done. I struggle with this decision frequently. Emotionally I know that we can handle a fourth baby. I have no worries there. It's the financial stuff that gets me. Should one decide their family status based on money alone? Because that's my only reason for saying no right now. We need a bigger house (our little three bedroom townhome will probably not withstand a fourth kid), we need more wiggle room in our bills. I don't know where I'm going with this, just trying to work it out for myself.

Actually, I've already made the decision, if I'm truly honest with myself. Just sitting here thinking about seeing families with four kids in the future and thinking that I could have done that but decided not to makes me realize how much I will regret NOT having another baby. Now, that doesn't mean the trying to conceive will begin anytime soon, just that my heart is figuring it out. Actually, my heart is figuring out to tell my head to butt out.