Another Idol Tuesday night...

The gang's all together now, allowing us to more closely compare the boys and the girls. Poor boys. Ooh, and Diana Ross and the Supremes night? Kind of fun for me, but I'm retro that way.

Brandon - You Can't Hurry Love. Dude, you are not Diana Ross. Your hair is like two feet too small for that. I'm going to pull the "copycat" card here - sounding way too much like Diana. I mean he's not bad, but nor is he WOW. I don't know, maybe it's because he's first so I"m being harder on him. Oh, he did NOT just forget the words. He totally did. I don't know, man. I might come back and go easier on you if the show gets worse, or harder if need be.


Melinda - I can't wait to see what she does tonight. Home from the Wiz. Kind of a boring song, but she is so freaking terrific, it doesn't matter. I'm with Randy, not my favorite performance of hers, but still s...Paula? Honey? You okay? Sorry I got distracted. Still so captivating. And she seems so very sweet when they talk to her that I don't think we/America can help but fall for her.

Chris Sligh - Endless love. Dude, could you pick a cheesier Diana Ross song? But you do have the hair working. Just another foot wider or so and it's there. Did he wear glasses before? And his twist on Endless Love is almost taking the cheesy out of it - or at least making it 2007 cheesy. I love Randy and Paula telling someone how to be hip.

Gina - Love Child. Um, okay. Not sure this song translates to the new millenium, but whatever. A little more time practicing in the stilettos if you plan to strut on the stage, sweetie. She almost takes the Diana Ross out of this, making it seem like it was a rock song all along. Randy, if you don't want boring, uninspired song choices, don't force them to choose from the Diana Ross songbook. I can't find fault with her for that.

Sanjaya - Ain't No Mountain High Enough. OH. MY. GAWD. Who in the freaking hell told him he should go on stage like that? I can't stop laughing. Like he isn't already out of his league. Now he looks like...well, me in the 8th grade, before me and my curls came to terms. Did he send his sister up there in his place? And ends with forgetting the words. Oh, poor boy. Randy can't stop laughing at the hair either. Oh, he's laughing at how bad it is. Well, that's kind of harsh, dude. And there goes Paula with the non-music related compliments. I think I might have to vote for Poor Sanjaya just out of sympathy. Not. Seriously, why would anyone do that? If you had any sense of decency, you'd let the boy go home.

Haley - I know that flowy dress thing is in, but it just looks like a maternity dress. Missing You. I don't think kissing the microphone is a requirement for proper sound. Oh, that dress is horrible. Now that I see the whole thing, it looks like a flapper's maternity dress. Yeah, another boring one. At this point, I don't know if it's Haley or Diana Ross. Just in case, I'm going to make a note for next year - ix-nay on the Iana-Day. Okay, Paula, she's the third person tonight to forget the words and you didn't bust either one of them. Oh, man, I feel genuinely bad for her. And I don't even know if I should hope she goes home or gets a chance to redeem herself. She at least knew she screwed up.

Phil - The Anti-Diana, hairly speaking. I'm Going to Make You Love Me. Well, damn. He might just be the best since Melinda. Sadly, that doesn't say much for the evening.

LaKisha - God Bless the Child. Who sang this in a previous season? Was it Fantasia? No. I looked it up. Apparently it was Mikalah Gordon. In which case, have at it, Kiki. Her performance is a little weak at first - not vocally, just her actions were awkward. But she sure stepped it up. And Simon said it best. You've either got it or you haven't got it. She's got it. For sure.

Blake Lewis - well this should be good. Diana Ross meets the beatbox. You Keep Me Hanging On. Okay, so far we've only seen the modern dancing. But I kind of like the modern take on this. What happened to the beatboxing? Definitely nowhere near the bottom tonight. Dude, Randy, don't make them sing Diana and then tell them they have to sing it just like her, because we all know then they would just be a copycat, right? I had a theory working that the copycat line was only used for bad singers or poorly sung songs, but after tonight, I'm going to have to rework my theory.

Side note: So they've moved the Wedding Bells to Friday? They're trying to kill it already?

Stephanie - Love Hangover. I actually don't know this song. Here's maybe where I should confess I used to play the Supremes greatest hits almost everyday when I was in 9th grade or so. It was also when I listened to the light hits station, making my musical background just weird. Well, her dress is appropriately retro. She's good. Certainly. But for some reason she's just not that interesting. She is rather unfortunate to be in this competition with LaKisha and Melinda, to each of whom she is just a little too similar. Okay, I guess I don't know that song at ALL, because I have no idea what the judges are talking about.

Chris R. - The Boss? I don't have a clue what this song is. He's, well, he's not bouncing, so yay for that, right? And he is what he is. I don't mean that negatively, necessarily. He's a pop type. He does it pretty well. I don't really like that, but most of America seems to.

Who else is there? Oh, Jordin. Don't suppose it's particularly good that I couldn't remember her.

Jordin - If You Hold It Together. The Land Before Time? Dude, my kids LOVE that movie. Or do they watch the series? I don't know. Her hair looks so pretty tonight. I like this song choice for her.

Top three: Melinda, LaKisha, Jordin (in that order? I don't know. M&L are sort of tied)

The middle six are basically a big tie for me. Ah, what the heck. I'll try to rank them.
Gina
Blake
Stephanie
Chris Sligh
Phil
Chris R

Bottom three (worst to slightly less worse): Sanjaya, Haley, and I'm going to go with Brandon out of sheer boredom (seriously, that seems to be more offensive to Idol voters than horrible singing). I'm betting Haley's the one leaving, despite how bad poor Sanjaya was.