And I held it together. Barely. Yesterday was the first day of kindergarten, but I went with him and it was only for two hours. Today? Today was the real deal. We dropped him off at the door with all the other kids. I peeked in to make sure he made it to his classroom (it's right there). I saw him walk in with a huge grin on his face. He didn't have the best day yesterday, but he was so excited to go today. I'm sitting here trying to keep my mind off of my worries about him (will he have another tantrum, will he remember to use a tissue, not his sleeve; will he be okay in the cafeteria; will he actually rest at rest time). I'm trying to enjoy this one on one time with G (Baby S is napping). I'm trying to keep my mind off of T, all by himself, gone all day long. You know, mostly what I've been sad about is that our life is going to be different now. For five years, it's been pretty laid back. We color, paint, take walks, go to parks, visit family, whatever we want, whenever we want. Now we have times to be places - T is a walker, so I have to be there to pick him (we live close enough that we don't get a bus, but far enough that I would be very, VERY nervous to let my elementary school student walk alone). We have kids in school. We can't take three day weekends away at random or do things when kids are in school so we're some of the only people there. I don't anticipate this feeling of loss when G goes off to all-day kindergarten. For one thing, she's a little high maintenance and I'm not so good at the maintaining. But our life will already revolve around school. It won't be this huge change. I'll miss her, just like I will miss her when I send her off to preschool next week.
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